Dear Michelle... I was happy to hear from you. I wonder if mine was the only response to your woman seeking mother ad? I hate to hear of your longing. It's such a chronic condition when we allow ourselves to think about it.
Nearly two years ago, I lay huddled beneath the sand on a Mexican beach in a traditional Temazcal (sweat lodge). Though there were nearly ten of us in the group, I heard the Shaman speak directly to me when she said "focus."
If you happened to stop by my house today in the early afternoon, you might have imagined that Sasha and I were headed off to a diving expedition in the Galapagos Islands, not his first swim class. I have no idea why I get so nervous about each new experience, nor why I don't anticipate this heightened anxiety ahead of time and actually prepare in advance instead of having a million questions hit me as I am walking out the door.
When I read curious mom's proposal to meet, I didn't know what to think. As much as I wanted to attain my dream of a mother, I was terrified to move beyond just writing. I saw this correspondence time as our courtship and wanted more time to get my bearings.
Seeing a good ob/gyn who knows about fertility could be helpful, if you haven't already. My daughter had her first child at 37! It wasn't easy/ Older women sometimes need it! Relax. I think that relaxation is part of the key to becoming pregnant. The other is good medical advice!
Co-napping is a delicious activity. One of my favorites. But some days I also love when Sasha rubs his eyes and reaches for his crib and I know that I have at least a half an hour to get some things accomplished around the house.
This week Aaron began his new therapeutic regimen that we will follow until his bone marrow transplant which has been rescheduled once again from April to May and now July. Aaron is still not close enough to remission to undergo the transplant so we will continue on down this path until his specialist at Dana Farber in Boston says it's a go.
When I read Flora's email, it was clear that she was concerned for me. She responded to me in reaction to how I must look--to how I have always looked-- a girl without a mother, without what a mother brings.
Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage green! This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we're writing about being green — both how green we were when we were young and how green our kids are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Secondhand, third hand, even fourth hand was the theme of my childhood, not by design but by necessity. I was raised by my elderly grandmother whose intention might not have been to live green, but the outcome of her choices was environmentally friendly.
dear michelle...i was happy to hear from you. i will be out of town for 2 weeks and probably not near a computer. i wonder who else was in your life besides your grandmother. sometimes that can be such an affirming relationship...grandmothers are supposed to be such safe havens. i didn't have one and now as a grandmother myself i feel as though i am writing my own script.
You have been in my life for 21 months but in my arms for one year today. This is not exactly correct. You have, in fact, always been a part of who I am and this is simply our time to be together as mother and child.
As I sat with those first letters in front of me, I did not know how to put into words what this process meant for me. Three potential mothers. I wrote their names and began to draw a line connecting them. I envisioned myself as this line and tried imagine how I might weave a path for these women to enter my life. With each arc a new question formed: What will they ask of me? What can I expect of them? What are the rules and conditions between us? Will I truly be able to expose my vulnerabilities and not just through the comfort of written stories?