When I read Flora's email, it was clear that she was concerned for me. She responded to me in reaction to how I must look--to how I have always looked-- a girl without a mother, without what a mother brings.
She spoke of grief work and therapy and I hadn't even shared a glimmer of my story. If she only knew the details of my life, perhaps she would be very worried. But as much as I wanted someone to care for me, fuss over me even, I did not need this kind of concern. I came to this search on my own two feet. And would walk away from it the same way if needed.
Have a wonderful trip. I will look forward to hearing from you when you return if you wish to write. I'll certainly share my story with you if you are interested. You sound like a wonderful mother and grandmother--very accepting, considerate and thoughtful. Those in your life are blessed to have you.
Placing this ad forces me to address the question you ask: what am I looking for? A connection with a woman who can see me as a daughter figure in her life. What will that look like? I honestly don't know. I am not in a place of desperation, more just a longing to see what is possible.
Take care and thank you for your letters.