Monday, March 8, 2010

flora--potential mother #3

dear michelle...i was happy to hear from you.  i will be out of town for 2 weeks and probably not near a computer.  i wonder who else was in your life besides your grandmother.  sometimes that can be such an affirming relationship...grandmothers are supposed to be such safe havens.  i didn't have one and now as a grandmother myself i feel as though i am writing my own script.


did you have siblings to share your early years with?  and i wonder how much grief work you have done?  (whatever that means)  I quite understand the need to feel mothered.  i translate that into feeling safe, unique, valued, cared for tenderly.  what i have missed the most is that i could not give back to my mother, that i simply couldn't bring her a cup of tea and sit in the sun at the window and talk about nothing.  i am sure that what your mother would want for you is to be happy and live your own life.  i feel that way about my children, that they must live the right life for them.  i hope i can help you but i'm not certain what you are looking for.  but please believe i do know what your emptiness feels like.  you are not alone.  take care, christine

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