After I hit send, I wanted to run down the stairs and tell Aaron that I received a letter and responded to it, without even getting his feedback, but I was afraid to leave the computer. I'd heard him come home just as I was completing my reply, and as much as I needed his reassurance that I conveyed something appropriate and meaningful to this woman who offered me the chance of some connection, I didn't want to break what I could only describe as a magical process akin to rubbing a genie's bottle and making your wishes known.
I stared at the screen, watching the mail box with anticipation. When the number one appeared only moments afer I'd posted my reply to Potential Mother 1, I wondered what she could have written so quickly. Had she already changed her mind and decided it was best to let me go with few words and without delay?
I clicked on the box. The subject read curious. A different address followed the from line. Another potential mother. Before I even read it, I was elated. The first response wasn't a fluke. My ad had found its way to more than one woman. Curious. I was also curious about what awaited me in this quest, or more precisely who. Was there a mother for me at the end of this journey?
I don't know why I was reading the personals in The New York Review of Books yesterday. I'm married and have a grown son and am not looking for a new mate. I guess my commute to and from the city and the fact I had finished the more interesting bits in the NYRB on Lit Flix and Prussia and was bored, can be called into account, but your particular note stood out. I didn't think much of it at the time and in fact, only recalled it this evening. Why I'm not sure. My best guess is that it had to do with the fact I was knitting a cardigan and hit a bit of a snag (no pun intended). I was trying to think of who I could turn to for advice. I was recalling that my mother had knitted but never bothered to teach me. I am entirely self-taught. And I was thinking about a young girl who recently joined my knitting group but dropped out. I had so wanted to mentor her. I never had a daughter, and I am now a grandmother of grandsons, and I don't think that I will ever have a granddaughter. Not having a daughter is one of my only regrets in life. So I guess that is why I am responding to your search. I wonder whether we would hit it off. So there are my stray thoughts.