It must have been devastating to have been orphaned in the way that you were and then to have not gotten the sustenance you needed from your grandmother. I can understand fully your (touching and poetically described) life-long longing for a virtual mother. I had some hesitation in responding to your ad for the very reason you mention.
But the older I get in life, I find I take more emotional "chances." You seemed like you had an interesting background, one that resembles my own in a number of ways--educator, writer, strong interest in family (sorry to rag on so about knitting in my first note, I was just following a stream of consciousness). I also had some reservations about how much you would want in a mother figure--you were certainly deprived and would likely want to make up for lost time. For my part, I would like a relationship--a close one, in fact, though not a needy dependency. But you seem to be aware that we may need some boundary conditions. Relationships are complex, they can be close and they can be conflicted. My issues have been emerging from the shadows of my unconscious lately too. Perhaps this is kismet. On the other hand, should we meet and find that we don't click, that should not be taken that either one of us is unlovable. I thought you would want to know more about me before we get on the phone to one another. Also, you may be surprised to eventually get some other responses!