are you my mother?

The courage needed to send my seeking mother ad to the New York Review of Books still eluded me.  To stall, I began to look at other possible venues.  The Village Voice intrigued me. The personals are much more robust sexually than those in the New York Review.  The classifieds clearly attract an irreverent type of person.   I wasn't sure where to place my unusual request.  I decided to write the paper and hopefully garner some guidance from the professionals.

I am interested in placing an ad for a woman seeking an older woman for friendship and motherly advice.  I didn't want to put it under women seeking women and couldn't find a place to situate the ad with the choices listed.  Is there a miscellaneous personal section that would be non-sexual in nature so this isn't confused as a particular fetish rather than a serious friendship?

I eagerly awaited the response, hoping that someone would pose a clever alternative.  Women seeking women is where this belongs.  No further comment.  I was on my own.  Did I need to 

start a new category in the personals that extends beyond soul mates and sex play?   Instead of book clubs, mother daughter clubs?  Maybe I should start a business as a mother match maker? I'd bestow the name Potential Mother to all the candidates.  Of course, I would interview each of them thoroughly first for myself.  Could I be the founder, screener and only client?  Is it possible to have too many mothers?

I examined the entire classifieds for placement, not just the personals.  Volunteers.  Would someone volunteer to be my mother?  Trades.  Mother wanted in exchange for what?  What would I trade?  Jobs.  Hiring someone to be my mother.  That would go along with earn a little extra cash.  Lost and found.   I have lost my mother and would love to find one.  Missed connections.  This one caught my eye.  I am always on the prowl, wondering could this be my mother that I see in this store, on this beach.  Could this be my mother waiting for me when I step outside of a dressing room wearing the outfit that makes me shine or should never been seen?  Might we have almost met on many occasions?  Was there a PM looking for a potential daughter?  

When I told Lori about it, she reminded me of the book: Are You My Mother?  Though it might make someone think I was an adopted child in search of her biological mother, I still believed this was the right approach for me.   

Are You My Mother?  I see you browsing in a bookstore, watching the dogs run in the park, savoring your lunch, and wonder: are you the person who can be the mother I never had? Motherless daughter, orphaned at 10, looking to forge a mother-daughter understanding. Married, caring, creative, educated writer, loves conversation, dogs, dance, gardening.  If you're looking for a daughter like me, I welcome your response.  All serious inquiries considered.  Seekingmother@aol.com.

I decided I needed insider information on the city to finish this ad.  I had to learn the name of a great independent bookstore, the places the dogs run, a healthy restaurant where I might dine in order to speak to the mother who would best match with me.   I required this before I could move forward, I reasoned. Another stall tactic, classic for the wildly unmothered woman, perpetually desperate for advice.